Dave and The Guitar

May 23, 2012

Dave woke up.  It was Friday morning and rain was tapping annoyingly on the skylight.  Depressing British weather, again. The front door bell was ringing. Pounding at his hangover.  Dave scratched and stretched and plodded down the stairs.  He opened the front door and immediately there was glorious music.  Standing there was a man whose features Dave couldn’t make out for sunlight was pouring round him. The pair were standing at the end of a triple rainbow that was spreading over the valley.  The man simply handed Dave a package and then vanished.  Immediately, rain and greyness were restored; the rainbows and sunlight gone.  Dave tore into the package and there, in his hands was the most beautiful concoction of colour he’d ever seen.  ShiteShirts read the label above the breast pocket.  “Let’s have it,” he said to himself.  Dave put it on and BOOM, no hangover and no tiredness, his belly turned into a six pack and hair grew from his bald head.  Adrenaline surged and he ran out the front door.  Sunlight and rainbows reappeared.  “Boxer shorts and ShiteShirts that’s what I do,” he shouted.  Mollie, the next door neighbor, collecting the milk, fainted at the sheer beauty of it all.  Dave kept running and people peering from windows began to cheer.  Soon, people were running from their houses to get a glimpse of the man.  They began to join him running through the streets.  10, 50, 100, 1000, 25000, 100000; the crowd grew, they kept coming.  He kept running.  They kept running. No one was tired.  Everyone was joyous.  Dave came to a field.  It was a regular field but at the far end of it he could make out a stage, not just any old stage; a massive stage with DAVE written in lights as a backdrop.  There were speakers everywhere.  Dave knew what he had to do.  The security ushered him up onto the platform where there was a nothing but a guitar on a stand.  Dave put the strap over his shoulder and pulled the pick from the strings.  He got his hands in position and raised the pick above his head. With one strike down he played a chord which had never been played before.  It proved the most beautiful sound there ever was.  It rang out around the field and lasted for what seemed like an eternity.  The crowd went wild in pure ecstasy.